About Kusani
"The kūsani is music is life."
In story, the kūsani is a massive tree hundreds of stories tall, grey-barked and golden-leafed; from its depths emanates a form of music so strong that the biorhythms of nearby creatures adjust themselves to the beat. Music is so core to my being to be as oxygen to my soul; deprive me of it for long enough, and I suffocate. I take it as my name both for my own need and for my compelling desire to express myself in the form of music, be it vocally, percussively, or otherwise.
I've grown so eclectic in my self-identity and hand-woven spirituality that few terms apply any longer - 'animalfolk' and 'shapeshifter', 'pagan' and 'animist', 'genderweird' and 'butch' still stick pretty well, though.
I am a lioness-woman. Which is to say, I self-identify as a Barbary lioness. For a general introduction to animality (also called spiritual therianthropy) and thus an explanation of what the above means, read this. I've been aware of my animal nature for as long as I can recall, although it wasn't until 2001 that I found the term for it. And for more on that, you can read the The Animal I Am, which chronicles my discovery of therianthropy as a named phenomenon and my own soul-search into what, exactly, I was.
My reference to Shapeshifter has nothing to do with my self-identity as a lioness; it's an archetype that I embody, both through natural compatability and conscious choice. Shapeshifter is not an entity that can be seen all at once; it is infinite, but it is natural and real. It can be measured and quantified in any skin. It is true to its current identity in instincts, in movement, in behavior. But Shapeshifter is limitless in its skins and thus endlessly versatile. Shapeshifter is instantly, thoroughly, authentically adaptable; it is fractally complex and variable. If you're still curious and/or confused, check out What Is Shapeshifter?.
I consider myself a pagan, though I have little to do with Wicca and ceremonial magicians. Memorized words and dressy clothing have never appealed to me, so I rarely engage in anything that could be considered formal ritual; my expressions of faith and joy tend to be spontaneous and heavily subjective, often expressed through some form of motion (dance, martial arts, drumming) or art (writing, music, colors). I listen to the land and its people, and I respect every living thing - physical or intangible - that I encounter. I am an animist in my view of the Universal Soul as the quasi-intelligent life-force that animates all things, and I consider everything to be individualized facets of one infinite whole. (And within infinity, anything is possible.) I have a decidedly animal-centric tilt to my worldview, being a totemist and practicing some aspects of shamanism, and am my own kind of energy-worker. I belong to the Eye of Ra, Sekhmet, and have an intensely personal and powerful relationship with Her.
I am biologically female and gender-atypical, which is heavily influenced by my identity as a Barbary lioness, and I present myself as masculine-androgynous or butch. With a solitary predator, there is considerably less sexual dimorphism, since individuals of both genders need to do the same things to survive (barring the differing reproductive roles). Being cat-female means being independent, self-contained, and capable of doing anything needed to survive - which, in the human world, translates to being competent in any given area one chooses, many of which are considered masculine (such as knowing how to fix a motorcycle). I find most of the traits that are feminine or 'girly' to be offensive when applied to me and will aggressively work to change someone's opinion if they consider me feminine. Despite this, I do continue to identify as a female, rather than an androgyne or a male - I simply define female with feline sensibilities, instead of human stereotypes. I even did an essay on gender.
You can reach me at my livejournal or at my gmail, which is serpentscribe. I have a Twitter account, updated frequently, and a Flickr account, where I post a ton of animal, wildlife, and nature-based photos from West Virginia, Colorado, Nevada, and the northwest coast.